When You're Stressed, Do This: The HALT Method for Immediate Relief
Takeaway: When you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, your first instinct might be to blame external circumstances. But often, the solution is simpler than you think. The HALT method helps you quickly identify if your stress stems from being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired—basic needs that, when addressed, can dramatically shift your perspective. This straightforward technique requires no special tools or training, just a moment to check in with yourself, making it an accessible way to manage stress in your daily life.
Are you feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or just generally fed up? Before concluding that your boss is indeed an intractable arse or that your friend is deliberately ignoring you, there's a simple technique that might help figure out what to do instead.
I've found that sometimes the most basic approaches to stress management are surprisingly effective. No fancy apps required, no subscription fees, just a quick check-in with yourself.
We're a Bit Diagnosis-Preoccupied at the Moment
Which is a good thing, mostly. I've been studying psychology in one form or another since 2010 – undergrad in psychology, masters in consumer psychology, training to be a mindfulness-based cognitive therapy teacher, counselling and psychotherapy. It's awesome that people are more aware, informed, and interested in their psychological wellbeing than ever before (particularly because when I go off on one about some psychological therapy people are actually interested) .
There's a catch though. We have a tendency to over-diagnose ourselves. I'm not knocking diagnosis outright – it can be useful for self-understanding and the research is informative for creating interventions. But if we become a victim to it, or develop a tendency to presume something is fundamentally wrong with us every time we feel a bit off, that's its own problem.
As a counsellor, I see lots of people who are starting to think they might have this or that wrong with them. What we often find is that lots of people feel the same way at times. It’s the general "bleurgh" of being a human being and trying to live our lives.
HALT: What do I need right now?
So here's a very quick tool to use when you're feeling stressed. Before that train cancellation ruins your entire week, HALT and ask yourself, am I:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Why HALT Actually Works
There are a few reasons this works:
It's simple and easy to remember – Even when you're feeling like your brain has been replaced with cotton wool.
These are base needs – They affect our mood and if not met will make it hard to do or think about anything else.
It works better in pairs – We're good at noticing the biases in other people, but pretty terrible at noticing them in ourselves. Having someone you trust ask in the loop makes this a lot easier to implement.
Hunger - a wicked case of the hangries
And I am sincerely not trying to be condescending here. The Snickers People Were Onto Something with "You're not you when you're hungry". When your blood sugar drops, you get irritable. What feels like righteous anger about something important might actually be your body saying, "Feed me, Seymour." Your brain needs glucose to function properly, and when levels drop, cue the stress hormones, and suddenly everyone around you seems deliberately annoying.
Anger
Unprocessed anger is like having a pot simmering on the back burner – it might not be directly in your attention, but it's heating up everything else. That small comment from a colleague becomes infuriating when you're already angry about something else.
Recognize it first - Many of us were taught that anger is "bad" and shouldn't be felt. Simply acknowledging "I'm angry right now" without judgment can be powerful.
Find safe expression - Physical activity like a brisk walk, writing in a journal, or talking with someone you trust can help process anger before it leaks into other areas.
Look beneath it - Anger often masks other emotions like hurt, fear, or disappointment. Asking "What's beneath this anger?" can lead to important insights.
Loneliness
We're social creatures and when we feel disconnected, everything feels worse. That slightly ambiguous text message becomes proof that nobody likes you, rather than evidence that someone was typing with one hand while making a sandwich.
Reach out proactively - I have a list of people on my phone who I like but probably don't call enough. When I'm in a funk, I work my way through the list until someone picks up.
Physical connection - If you live with someone, asking for a hug can be scary but can also lead to tender moments.
Nature connection - Counter-intuitively, getting out in nature can make you feel more connected to the world around you when human connection isn't available.
Meaningful engagement - Volunteering is a direct path to camaraderie and feeling that you’ve contributed to something meaningful.
Quality over quantity - Sometimes it's not about how many people you interact with, but the depth of those interactions. One meaningful conversation can be more nourishing than a day of small talk.
Tiredness
Sleep deprivation seriously affects our cognitive abilities and emotional regulation. Yet somehow we expect ourselves to function perfectly on five hours of broken sleep. When you're tired, molehills don't just become mountains – they become Mount Doom.
Take sleep seriously - Protect your sleep routine as a non-negotiable part of self-care, not a luxury.
Micro-rest - If full sleep isn't possible (parents of young children, I see you), look for moments of micro-rest: a 10-minute meditation, putting your feet up, or even just closing your eyes and breathing deeply.
Energy audit - Notice what activities deplete you versus nourish you. Can you adjust your schedule to balance these better?
Say no - Sometimes the most restful thing you can do is decline another commitment.
Quality matters - If you can't get more hours, work on improving the quality of your sleep through good sleep hygiene.
HALT in Real Life
My partner and I are slowly working this into a fine art. Earlier this week, I complained for the third time that the DPD delivery (yeah, I'm naming names) of bed sheets still had not arrived. She asked if I had eaten breakfast yet.
"No, no, it's not that," I insisted. "I'm genuinely pissed about the sheets – it's been out for delivery for 4 days, I left very specific instructions, the pillowcases arrived but not the sheets..."
She raised an eyebrow.
I had some toast, and surprise surprise, I let it go. Was I still annoyed about the delivery?
Yes. Did it seem like a catastrophe worthy of repeated complaints? Not so much.
When HALT Isn't Enough
OK, so you’ve been practicing this for a couple weeks, but something still isn’t right. Sometimes there are genuinely difficult things happening in our lives that can't be solved with a sandwich or a nap. If you're consistently feeling overwhelmed despite addressing these basic needs or struggling to meet them, it might be worth speaking to someone about it. If you are interested in working together you can book an intro call here.
Simple Yet Powerful
One of the things I've learned in my practice is that sometimes the most effective approaches aren't necessarily the most complicated ones. While many of life's challenges are indeed complex and nuanced, it's worth checking our basic needs first.
It's remarkable how often attending to hunger, anger, loneliness, or tiredness – or sometimes a delicious combination of these – can shift our perspective. These fundamental needs create the foundation that allows us to address more complex issues in our lives.
Next time you feel yourself getting wound up about something, HALT. Ask yourself (or have someone you trust ask you): What do I need right now?
The answer might be more straightforward than how we feel in the moment. And that's okay – sometimes the simplest solutions are the most effective.
David O'Hara is a qualified psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher based in High Peak, Derbyshire. He helps people discover their authentic selves through person-centered therapy and practical mindfulness. Book a free consultation.
